A personal update – postpartum depression x2

Many of you loyal readers might know about my struggle with postpartum depression the first time around when I had Julian. Well, this time around it came on later and with a vengeance around the time Anderson was 5 months old right before Thanksgiving. That is why I have been incommunicado with most of the world especially facebook, for the past month or so. Recently over the past couple of days some of the haze has lifted which is why I am able to write this post.  I have read my own advice that I wrote last time around to help get me through. It is not easy. This is a hidden illness that needs to be talked about more as I am sure many women have silently suffered when they really needed treatment.  My treatment this time around has been helpful to get me to the point I am today, which included a medication switch that I think has recently started to kick in to lighten the darkness a bit. Medication is only part of the puzzle though and is not a magic pill. The right medication can help lift the thoughts of suicide, inability to cope with daily functioning and life tasks, but it doesn’t help you get fully out of the darkness. I am still working on getting better. Anyway, I just wanted to share why I have been MIA lately and also raise awareness of invisible disabilities like mental illness.  I don’t expect to be able to update this too often so just know that this is a very tough time for our family and we appreciate your thoughts. If you or someone you know is suffering with depression or any type of mental illness, I urge you to talk more openly about it as that is what our society needs – similar to talking more openly about and advocating for more acceptance of cognitive and physical disabilities or other types of differences. If you are currently going through a depression or are a family member or friend of someone who is, please make sure to read my previous post about how to cope with depression. You can also send me an email anytime to glm0210@yahoo.com if you need to talk or want advice.

 

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6 Responses to A personal update – postpartum depression x2

  1. Brittani Smith says:

    Hi Gretchen yeah I noticed no posts for you for a while. I see this post about postpartum and think, beautiful Gretchen? Really? Then it can effect anyone. You are a gorgeous and your boys are gorgeous. You are smart and savy and even from the little I have read I get a feeling of kindness and love from you. It’s hard for people to understand that none of that matters, when it comes to postpartum. I never have had to deal with postpartum, but if your saying you have it, then I believe anyone can have it and it is very real. I am sorry you are going through this. Keep your head up young lady.

  2. Hope Noar says:

    Gretchen,
    I was wondering why you weren’t posting. I went through a tough time after I had my first child, Scott. I came home from the hospital in pain, but excited to show my new son off to everyone. I kept waking him up to let people hold him. My mother yelled at me, told me not to wake him up, and refused to hold him. That made me cry hysterically, and I developed a fever and almost ended back in the hospital. Scott was a very easy baby, and always fell right back asleep, plus the fact that he was my child, and no one had the right to tell me what to do.
    Then after eight days, we had him circumcised. Up until then, I had never heard him cry. When the Rabbi came to our house and did the procedure, Scott let out a loud, blood curdling bawl. I got hysterical and started crying. I wanted to hold him, and the Rabbi would not let me. It was horrible and I was so upset. Kenny had to calm me down.
    Consequently, we had Seth and Eric circumcised in the hospital after that, with no Jewish ceremony.
    After you have a child, your emotions and hormones go crazy, and it is so easy to get upset and depressed. Scott’s wife had bad postpartum depression and did some awful things. I totally understand what you are going through. Take it easy, and with the love of your wonderful husband and two beautiful sons, you will get through this. Thanks for sharing…….We all have these kinds of experiences, but eventually they pass.

  3. Monica says:

    Gretchen, all I can say is I am so sorry you are going through this again. I’ll send tons of positive energy your way. God bless

  4. Ilisa Ailts says:

    Hi. I am sorry to hear this. Have you considered either a naturopathic doctor or an integrative medical doctor for more options to add? Oh I do pray for you! I am happy to see all the support for you and you advocating for yourself and others! You are a blessing!

  5. Linds says:

    Beautiful Gretchen,

    I had a feeling something was amiss and hoped it was not ‘this’. You had endured and overcome so much following Julian’s birth…with each of your smiling photos and happy posts over the past few months, I thought: phew, It’s not gonna get her this time!

    While my heart breaks for you, knowing you are fighting this battle again, I have so much hope. You are beautiful and smart and strong, you are a daughter/sister/friend/wife/mother who has inspired a countless number. Know that those are all people in your corner, that people everywhere are pulling for you, thinking of you, and sending you strength. While so much of me is pissed you have to face this again, I know you’ll come out on the other side and help others along the way.

    Thinking of you – Linds

  6. Anna Theurer says:

    Hi Gretchen, I was just thinking about you and wondering how things were going. My postpartum hit when Ellie was 4 months old. As you know, you are not alone even if it feels that way at times. Thank you for your continued honesty and bringing about awareness about mental health condititions. Hugs and love.

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